I want to be Happy

Yup, I’m unhappy. I’ve been like it for a veeery long time. It’s hard for me emotionally always. I sometimes feel great about everything but the next day no more. I’m a normal gal, I go to a great school, I’m very social, I’m a high achiever. But, I want to do something more like I have already mentioned previously in some other post.

And you know what? I will. I said I would but I haven’t done shit and it’s just lowering me every day even more and more.

I want to finally do things that I’ve always wanted to do. I want to do things without anybody telling me what to do. I want to do things on my own, with my own permission. I will need help of course and I will ask for it, and I know exactly who can help me.

I just can’t believe it. I’ve had the right people here to always help me and I know they will so, why not just start and do it all?

I want to grow, I want to fulfill myself and others. I want to in general, feel and be happy.

It’s always been one of my ambitions anyways. I’ve always wanted to feel that accomplishment and I will feel it and I will keep it with me.

So uh yeah that’s it really. I just felt like saying all this ‘cuz I’ve been feeling very very down lately. Writing things down has always helped me so I chose to write this post, even though I already wrote a whole complete paragraph on my notebook on what I want to do. It’s always so hard for me to open up about how I feel.

Oh wellz.

Anyways….what will I do you wonder?

Wait for it.

Bye. 🙂

-KcHAn90 ❤

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Orphans and Letters

Merry Christmas to all of you! This year I had a very unique Christmas, which is worth writing about and sharing on my blog.

As many of you know (or don’t know), I live in Mexico. I have been living here for 5 years. I love it here. 🙂 Anyways, my sister’s elementary school is free for the kids that assist this local orphanage, meaning that children who live there can go to school there. In one of my sister’s class is a girl from that orphanage, who happens to be my sister’s best friend. We decided to visit her orphanage and pick her up so that she could spend Christmas with my family, become her foster family for a few days.

We went to her orphanage yesterday and we were greeted by lots of kids from there. To be honest, it broke my heart.

I have worked with children in the past, but those kids had someone that loved them and cared for them, but yesterday I was faced with another reality: Child abandonment.

In that orphanage are children who were taken away from their parents because of child abuse and neglect, children who were abandoned, children who’s own parents took them there because they didn’t have the economic resources and even kids who are there by their own will, as in, ran away from home.

Toddlers, kids, teenagers. All together living there. I have never visited such a place, which is why I felt very sad being there.

Kids are kids. What fault do they have in this world to be born different, or to just be born in general? I understand those who couldn’t take care financially of their kids, but the rest, why? Why throw away an innocent baby? Why abuse them? It is such a shame to me.

In my culture we do not get presents on Christmas. Last time I got a present on Christmas was when I was in the United States as in, 5 years ago. But yesterday that we went, Raul, a Mentally disabled child, gave me and my sisters each a hand written card.

It was our Christmas gift from him to us.

-“Hello people: How are you? I think you aren’t okay after the earthquake. Now there are people living on the streets and right now I’m sad looking at people cry for their homes or people on the streets but I know that they’re helping them with clothes, blankets, etc. but I know that they’re standing (going through) rainstorms, cold, heat, earthquakes, etc. but also some are sad because they lost their loved ones but they will always support you and have faith, goodbye.”- 

And it’s the best gift I have ever received.

The simplest things in life can make a very big difference. Always cherish and enjoy what you have because there are people in the world who do not have much and despite not having much, they are still very, very happy. Like the children in the orphanage. It is very heartwarming to see that those kids find happiness in the little that they have, and that they are filled with so much joy and love.

Remember to always receive and give love and remember that in the end, you don’t need the fancy, expensive things on Christmas to spend a great time. Have a proclivity for work, but also try to have one for those who can’t, for those who depend on others.

I have learned to appreciate that, and I hope that many people out there can too. 🙂

I will be visiting the Orphanage again soon with my family, as we will be bringing them gifts and some food for them to celebrate El Dia de los Reyes Magos on January 6th, which is the holiday in which children of Mexico receive presents.

Hope you all had a merry Christmas.

With love,

-Karuchan. ❤

Little turn on plans

For a year I wrote stories and short non-rhyming poems on this blog but lately I started to feel like it doesn’t make me happy anymore. I want to renovate this blog, do something more on it. I haven’t written on this blog for about a month, and I used to post regularly. I am sorry for not being able to keep up with this but it’s because I just do not know what to write on here.

So I took a time out, and just now I have finally decided what I want to do on this blog. I do plan on writing stories and poems still, but I will also be doing even more.

What will I be doing?

So, in order to determine what I wanted I pulled together a list of what I love:

  • Fashion
  • Makeup
  • Photography
  • Music
  • Art

And that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. Fashion, makeup, photos, music and art. I want to post lookbooks, pictures of places, people and things, review more music, post arts and crafts, DIY’s in general,  drawings, etc.

This blog will take a turn in direction and it is for the good.

I also plan to start a youtube channel very soon! So stay tune for all of that as well. 🙂

Please follow me on my social media which I will be updating more frequently as well. I will be dedicating my extra time on this blog and in what I want. So please, support me through! 🙂

Social media:

  • Instagram: sadandsassy124
  • Twitter: @karuchan90
  • Tumblr: karuchan90
  • Facebook page: Coming soon!

That’s it for now, so stay tune for the future of this blog. 🙂

Thank you for reading,

-Karuchan. ❤ 

Goodbye Daniela

When I die, I want to become young again.

I want to, go back to when I was a teenager.

Because those were the best times of my life.

I want to go back to my first phone.

I want to go back to heavily filtered pictures.

I want to go back to all the good and bad people I met.

I want to go back to the first time I kissed.

To the first time I loved and was loved.

I want to go back, to all those nights out with friends.

I want to go back to all the birthday cakes I baked for my friends.

Because I loved each and every one of them.

And I know they loved me too.

I will never forget the first time I wore eyeliner.

All the perfume, and my beautiful hair.

I want to go back to the first time that I rode a motorcycle..

But not to the last.

I know that many people didn’t get to live out their teens.

But I did.

And it was amazing.

I didn’t get to live out my long life though.

But God needed me with him.

Here I am, watching you all as I fly away, because I am now a little angel.

Do not weep forever, because we will reunite.

My life was short, but the best years that I lived, were with all of you.

I will miss you, and so will you.

But I am here, but very far.

I will be here.

Remember to always watch where you’re going.

Obey your parents, because they love you. Just like mine loved me.

Love your siblings each and everyday.

Forgive to be forgiving.

And always take precaution.

Because life is very fragile.

My life will forever be knitted into your hearts.

My voice will wrap you in your dreams.

Goodbye, girls.

Goodbye, boys.

I was Daniela.

And this is my farewell, but not forever.

 

 

Rest in Peace, my dear old friend Daniela. 

Such a beautiful and lovely girl. So sweet and always happy. Go rest now, you will be under Gods hand from now on, and you will never suffer.
You are now another star in the night sky.

27/11/2017 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/knit/

2 Months Later

It has been 2 months since we last saw each other.

It is such a long time but it doesn’t feel like it.

I miss you every single day that I wake up, though.

I feel you close but I don’t see you anywhere.

And I ask myself, why?

I wonder as I gaze to the sky.

Where are you right now?

What are you doing?

I know that we both share the same sky and it’s stars.

But ever since you left, the sky has even more stars than ever.

I visit the last place that I saw you in every now and then.

Everything is gone.

All of our memories together are nothing but that: Memories.

All of our favorite places, our names that we graffitied at the park.

It’s all gone.

I visit town hall, where you last stood.

Before time took you away from me forever.

I now look up and remember that clock that stood there at town hall.

It is no longer there and I hope to never see it again.

Oh how I hate it.

In the end, I shrug.

And I turn my back to the place where you last stood in.

Stepping into all the sludge left behind.

I know that somewhere up above there you are.

Along with everybody else that was with you on that day.

Yesterday  marked 2 months after the tragedy.

And although things are getting better,

Although things will be rebuilt,

The city that I once knew and cherished will be gone forever.

Along with you.

Even though I know that things will go back to normal,

Your memory still resonates in me.

And it haunts me.

Along with the memory of all the other people screaming and running all around me.

As the world crumbles around us.

I love you, and I love you all.

We will see each other some day, but till then…

Shall that faithful day resonate in my dreams forever.

 

Dedicated to my dear city of Jojutla, Morelos in Mexico and all the victims of mother nature on  Tuesday, September 19th, 2017. This is specially dedicated to  a neighbor of mine, who was killed by the clock at Town Hall and to her husband, which spends his days in mourn. May she, him and their child and everybody else that lost their lives rest in peace. 

And may all of us who witnessed such a tragedy find peace within ourselves. 

With love, Karuchan.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sludge/

 

Cacophony In The Mind

Everyday I get up and go

Everyday I walk and I run

I’m here I’m there I’m everywhere

I’m always hearing everything of everything

Chitter chatter, laughter, music, everything

From kids screaming to kids crying

I can work it out, though

I can quiet all the noises

But there is a problem:

How can I quiet the mind?

Sometimes at night all I hear is my thoughts

Sometimes I hear my dreams

Which I don’t mind

But sometimes I hear the memories

The bad ones

So vividly and clear

And many, many times

I just hear them all talking at once

A cacophony of sounds from memories

Of things I will never forget

But things that I am grateful of

In a way, I am.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/cacophony/

🙂

 

Scream For Your Life

Scream for your life

To the rhythm of the music

Scream for your life

Louder, than the music

Run for exits

And take cover

Don’t peak your head up

And don’t let go of her hand

Grab your friends

Grab your love

But most importantly

Grab your life

Because it is running away from you

Ignore the things falling

But don’t ignore the people falling

So grab your friends, grab you love, grab your life, and remember:

Grab the strangers around you. We’re all a family.

 

Dedicated to all the victims of the Las Vegas shooting, all the hurricanes and the Earthquake in Mexico.  The Vegas shooting and the earthquake were very, very sad for me especially because I grew up in Vegas and because the earthquake in Mexico destroyed my city. I know that everything will be fine, things will go back to normal.

Thank you to everybody who supported my dear city and my people, thank you to all of the rescue teams, both professionals and random people. Thank you to everybody who came out of their homes to give a hand and help those in need.

I know that the times seem hard but stay strong. Today’s daily prompt is Believe. So, why don’t we believe in each other? Help those who need help and life will give you the best reward there is:

Love.

I’m praying for all of you. Stay safe, and stay alert.

All my love to the victims of all of the tragic events that have taken place recently.

“Exit signs read heaven’s waiting”
-Pierce The Veil, “Circles”, 2016.