I’m back!

WHaattuuup! It’s me- Karuchaaan free from university, finally! Missed me? No! But whatever I’M BACK baby!

So, where was I the last like 3 months? University! I just finished my first semester of college in Systems Engineering. Oh boy. I wrote about 4 different thesis for different subjects, solved 280 calculus problems, did 2 projects and did about 20 programs in the span of 2 weeks. I didn’t even sleep during the last week.

But hey, I got through it! With 90’s and one 80 as final grades, my total grade for the semester was a 92.

Not so proud BUT I DID IT and I have no other option to accept it and feel proud…..I guess.

But I’m finally freeee to browse the internet for hours, write on my blog, draw and workout.

(Quick side note, here’s a little thing I learnt in this first semester: You gain a bit of weight in college. I was stuck at 48 kilograms for 2 years, in just 4 months I went up to 50. )

I actually got on winter holiday since last week on Tuesday, but I was busy cleaning my room, desk, drawers and organizing clothes, finally! Today I focused on doing laundry, still got more laundry to do but I’ll finish it on Sunday. Monday I plan to wash my yoga mat to start working out again and I also gotta bit of laptop maintenance to do which may take me about 2 days (my laptop is FUCKED), plus 1 day of reinstalling all necessary programs and such. Afterwards, I will just chill a bit and start studying a bit. Hey, it doesn’t hurt to study on holiday, it’s actually a good thing. 🙂

So make sure to eat healthy, eat moderately and do not stress too much, you’ll be okay! 🙂 Sooner or later you’ll be on your spring break or whatever, so just give your best shots and efforts, study for heaven’s sake and stay out of trouble. 🙂

So, thank you for reading, bye bye!

Love, Kchan .w.

Daddy Issues

I was 16 when I got kicked out,  my daddy threw me out. I don’t know why, I guess he was tired of my shit. My mother was a hardworking woman, who I still love and visit frequently to this day. I love her, and I love my siblings, too. Sadly, I got kicked out at 16.

Daddy never liked me, I don’t know why though.

Out of the 5 kids, he never hugged me. He never kissed me. In the contrary, he would leave me alone, he would leave me out while he played with my brothers and sisters. He would yell at me, hit me, not buy me any dolls like he did with my sisters, neither any toy cars like he did with my brothers. It was sad, I was sad. I was always sad.

I grew up into my teen years, and he would try to control me. Like if he suddenly cared or something. He wouldn’t let me go out, so I would sneak out. One day, I met a dude. A handsome guy, a guy I became close friends with. He was a bit older than me, but in the end, we ended up liking each other.

A pack of cigarettes in between both of us as we lay in his car, in the cold night, gazing at the sky above us.

I loved him. He gave me love, he gave me attention. I was happy. Until one day, one day, my daddy saw me with him and dragged me into our house by my hair. He yelled “Who the fuck is that?”. My momma ran out and so did my siblings because I was screaming and crying as he yelled at me. My momma stepped in to help, and my daddy told her what he had seen. My momma then picked me off the floor carefully, like she always did, and asked me “Baby, who’s that guy you’re seeing?”

I then remembered him. Us. the scent of cherries and lukewarm feelings in the back of his car and then coffee and pancakes in the mornings. Proud hugs and romantic hugs. Late at night. Early in the morning. What is he? Is he my friend? My boyfriend? What do I answer?

“He’s my daddy.”

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lolololol idfk anymore I’m all sleepy