Self Harm Is For Losers Like Me

Hello! Today I would like to talk about something from my past, as it is now affecting one of my friends. Yes, I used to self harm. Under my uniform’s sleeve hid lots of scars.

I was 13 years old when I started to self harm after the suicide of my dearest of dearest, I felt guilty as I was the last person who my friend spoke to, we laughed, sang, it all seemed normal. Sadly, I was too stupid to realize that for about a week he was hinting his suicide at me. I did not realize it until the last second when he said his plans to me.

He promised he was joking, though. So I didn’t take him seriously.

Well, he wasn’t joking.

Feeling the guilt I started to self harm and I fell into a deep depression.

I would wear a uniform to school that consisted of a long sleeve shirt. With my P.E. uniform, which was a short sleeve shirt, I would hide my scars under these long, bracelet cuffs like the one shown here.bracelt

Yep. I would cut my wrists. My parents didn’t know, my friends didn’t know either. From the outside I was the happy cheerful little Karu-chan always running around but inside I was sad.

I eventually stopped, after I found myself in the pathetic situation in which I had stomped desperately on a pencil sharpener until I broke it in order to get the blade out. I was hiding out in the last bathroom stall about to drag it down my wrist when I said:

“No. Stop it. ”

It was hard, but I stopped. I looked up ways to stop on the internet and I found this method where I would snap rubber bands against my wrists whenever I felt like cutting myself.

Is that method dangerous? Yes. But the point of it was, replacing the pain with another pain and gradually reduce that pain until I no longer needed it. Maybe it wasn’t the best way, maybe there were other methods that I could have tried, but I went with the first thing that popped up as I was desperate.

In the end, this was all unnecessary. I could have avoided many things, yet I couldn’t and not accepting it brought me to what I would do.

I found myself in the situation where my friend who may rest in peace used to be in, the which I helped him through. Yup, I stopped him from hurting himself as well but in the end I did the same exact thing.

I know that he didn’t want me to do that, it wasn’t the right thing. But I did it anyways.

“I have a blade named cat. Cat scratches my wrists”

In the end, the point here is: Don’t.

There are other ways to solve your issues, baby. Don’t hurt yourself as it will lead to nothing but death. Instead, do what I didn’t do: Talk to someone. And if you’re scared of talking to someone which was my case, talk to yourself. Look at yourself and realize that you do not deserve the pain that you’re putting yourself through.

My friend’s into self harm because his parents discovered his homosexuality. It’s a stupid reason to harm yourself. So what if you like the same gender as you?

There are people who harm themselves because of your words. Because remember that your words hurt more than your actions, okay? Be careful who you offend, who you insult because you don’t know what goes on inside them, what goes on at home, in their lives.

And remember that no matter what, your life is precious. There are people who are wishing to survive, who go to sleep every night scared that it will be their last. Meanwhile here you are doing what you’re doing when it’s completely unnecessary.

People who self harm are losers. They’re losers because they’re scared to go on, they’re afraid. They go to self harm because they feel that it’s the only way out, that it’s the right thing to do, but it’s not.

A loser looses.

A winner, wins.

I was a loser for cutting myself. Now I’m a winner. Why? Because I was able to win against my situation, and I moved on.

So if I can do it, why can’t you? You just gotta get up, you can’t stay on the floor forever and let people step on you! You gotta get up, walk forward and pick up anybody who is on the floor.

If you’re into self harm or someone you know is, please, please, seek professional help. I am no professional, this is just my case. I don’t advise you try the rubber band method as it is dangerous since your blood veins can get swollen and explode. Please, seek other ways, there are many methods out there and many people who are willing to help you or the person that you know.

It is now my goal to stop my gay friend from his self harm. Don’t worry, I’m already working on it. 🙂

Thank you for reading.



16 thoughts on “Self Harm Is For Losers Like Me

  1. Its so nice of you to share your experience for people to gain some lesson from it. You are truly a winner and also brave enough that you stopped yourself and helped yourself to get out of it.
    Very Inspiring 🙂
    Good Luck to you 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Everyone’s got their own way of dealing with problems. Some people binge eat, drink or even turn to drugs. Some people annoy the hell out of others for relief and perhaps that’s where we get the internet trolls XD

    Jokes aside though, I believe the ultimate root of this issue would lie in social support.
    Not everyone has the fortune to be surrounded by:
    A. Supportive people
    B. Positive people

    Hence the reason why I started Project BIY, allow people to have access to a pool of genuinely nice people to network with. Especially if they’ve got issues, just share it with us 🙂

    I’ve met people who wanted to commit suicide because their loved ones left them (Be it cutting off ties or passed away) and it wasn’t a pleasant thing to watch. Hell, as you know, I’ve been through a super-bad break up myself to the point where I felt like I’ve lost my reason to live. I still remember the days when I’d live each day like a zombie, buy frivolous and expensive things with the money I saved for my future just to make myself feel something.

    Hell, I still feel some of the aftermath effects of it all today even though it’s already been years since the break up lol.

    I mean even now, I still do wonder sometimes on whether life is worth living at all. When you commit yourself to someone and get betrayed / have things backfire like this, kinda makes it feel pointless to commit myself to anything or anyone in life anymore. Honestly, there are days when it just feels meaningless again cause I do not see a point in doing anything and I just feel too tired to fight on- Something which I’m sure many of us can relate to.

    BUT- I know that I cannot give up now because I still got a mission to complete. Bring about more positive changes in lives. On the days when I feel down, I’ll try to remind myself to stop bitching cause there are people out there with worst problems XD

    Honestly, my life ain’t bad despite all the BS I’ve faced both in my professional and personal life. I’ve managed to meet good people as well to go through life with and that, in my opinion, is one of the best things in life that anyone can get.

    The gift of good people in your life. The gift of them and their time to us.
    Life is beautiful if we choose to look at the beauties eh?

    We must never ignore the ugly though. Like a raging Panda mascot looking to terrorize people who says no to their product.

    Your pal,

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true, my dear friend. But remember that you gotta keep on going and that life will bring you rewards. 🙂

      The good people are in our lives for a reason: To bring us good. So, appreciate them! Because it’s hard to find good people. 😉

      Here’s a little secret; I’m the panda that terrorizes people. So you better say YES to my product! Or I’ll go and destroy your computer xD

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Don’t know why you have the need to say that self harmers are losers cause they clearly aren’t, once you’ve been doing it for so long you don’t want to stop cause your addicted to it and want that support but yet no one can give it you cause some people just don’t care at all.


    1. Self harmers are losers = they stand to gain nothing. NOT they are losers in life.
      It was meant to be seen as a way to express letting an addiction “win” over a person.
      I agree that many people with this addiction, and with many other addictions as well seek support and can’t find it and feel like people don’t care but there are many people far and near that do really care. I found help on the internet but help is also found in those around us, we just have to not be scared and speak up to let people know. Sooner or later we do find support. In some cases, we are the ones who have to look for our own support and care for ourselves but in the end, no matter how much support we get it’s up to our own support to let us through.
      I apologize for not making it clear enough but hope you understand and see that I did not mean what you thought I did.


  4. I just discovered your blog, was scrolling through, and honestly I wasn’t expecting this. Life for me has been so shitty lately and I did self-harm (among other things) to deal with it in some fucked up way. This post hit home and I just want to say thank you for talking about this. It’s very nice of you and it makes me feel like I’m not alone.

    Thank you, and keep up the great posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No worries, things will get better, trust me. It may seem like things won’t but they will, I’ve been there before. It may take a while, but just keep your hopes up! You’re very welcome and I’m glad that you enjoyed this post.

      Remember that you are not alone and self harm is not the solution. Thank you for reading. 🙂 Hope that things get better for you very soon. If you need somebody to talk with, feel free to contact me at any time. I will gladly help you out.


  5. You mentioned that you are trying to help your friend get over self harming, umm I have a friend who is into self harming and I have been looking for way in which I could help him.
    Please help?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello! So sorry for your friends situation and sorry for a late reply. A way that you can help is by looking for an activity that you and your friend can do together such as an art class or a sport, something that you two will enjoy and that will help your friend to not think about self harming by replacing that thought with the activity. Convince your friend to try out the activity or let them choose one, or you choose one that you know they will like. Another way is to call self harm or even suicide hotlines or look into internet forums or go to a place where you can talk to ex- self harmers about their experience and hear their advice. Most preferably you as the friend show your support by assisting with that friend that self harms. Stick by your friend, show them that you care and want to help.

      You can also look for online stories like youtube videos of past self harmers. Motivational speeches can also help. If not, talk to your friend about it face to face and let them know that you’re very concerned about them and that you would like of your friend to stop.

      I hope this is of help and if not feel free to ask me again. These are the most helpful methods, especially the one about the activity which worked well with my friend and really helped him. 🙂

      Stay positive and try to help your friend out as best as you can! If all fails, please talk to a teacher, counselor or parent about it!


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